It's Time

Yes, I finished True Detective 

Recently, I took on a second job of being the stat-keeper/scoreboard operator of Cedar Grove Suburban basketball. That's right, Cedar Grove, not even Verona. For those of you not familiar with Suburban, it's travel basketball teams, so it is fair to assume that these are the best kids the respective teams have to offer. The first game I worked was this past Thursday and the schedule said it was 7th grade girls basketball. 

First of all, there is no way these girls are in 7th grade, I think they were 5th graders maybe 6th at most. So naturally, I sat through an hour or so of terrible basketball. However, I'm not sure what was worse the level of basketball or the father's coaching. The "coaches" from Cedar Grove must've thought this was college basketball; they wore coordinated outfits and the assistant coach - aka Coach's Bitch - was keeping his own stats (on top of mine!). I'm not sure what coaches on both teams were expecting, but you were not going to get the Princeton Offense out of these girls. Girls at this age are not able to "anticipate" a pass on defense, they aren't going to drive to the basket, etc. The last thing these coaches are doing is coaching they are actually just "telling". It is definitely interesting to be secretly rooting against Cedar Grove while also keeping their stats; I assure you I am as impartial as possible.  

My next game is Tuesday and according to the schedule it is for this same team, I will be sure to report if they were able to recover from last week's shellacking. You may be asking what this has to do with Fantasy, and the answer is pretty much nothing. The only thing possible is that since my team did not make either of the playoffs, Sundays checking up on fantasy is like watching 5th grade girls basketball masquerading as 7th grade girls basketball. 

Anyway, our championship matchup is set! Seagrape Security vs. Gentle Vibrations, our highest scoring team going against the team with the most wins (with perhaps the quietest 11 game win streak in the history of sports). Gentle Vibrations had quite the scare this past and their team looks good to go this week. We are all expecting a bounce back game from Aaron Rodgers, Arian Foster should be leaned on more with Case Keenum back at QB 1, and several other players with good match-ups. As in most weeks, Seagrape Security was carried by the Dallas Cowboys; it will be interesting to see if their decision not to handcuff DeMarco Murray will come back to haunt them - though reports are indicating Murray will be playing. I am expecting a high scoring contest that should hopefully be decided during Monday Night's game. 

The third place matchup features Smooth Saddles and the defending champions LastCupChris. Both teams are cursing players that held them back this past weekend. Smooth Saddles are probably annoyed by Jamaal Charles's lack of touches and definitely frustrated by Jay Cutler's awful performance. LastCupChris is questioning how Chris Polk had two goal line touchdowns and how Darren Sproles had the team's other rushing touchdown. This is a repeat of a matchup of just two weeks ago and I think it is reasonable to expect another close outcome. Each team includes players that are in the middle of their own playoff hunts, so there is a lot to still play for. Tip of the cap to LastCupChris for being the only team in the league to make the playoffs in each of the three seasons. 

Currently in the consolation bracket, LOADING... is in the driver's seat. I believe that they have the most balanced team in the league, it just took them a week or two too long to get it all to come together. They have top players at all positions, kudos to them in constructing this roster. Yes, they are going up against Dickle Pickle, who have a tendency to rack up the points. However, they are going to need all hands on deck to take down LOADING... so they are hoping that Julio Jones will be able to suit up. 

The other consolation matchup involves AND I JUST WENT OFF and House Hodor. It has been a tough go at it for AND I JUST WENT OFF, having many players go ice cold after scorching hot starts. The implosion of Jay Cutler has to be crippling. Still, this is a team that features many teams' top options so they are always in danger of "going off." House Hodor had a strong week and are hoping to build off from that. One can never count out a team with Peyton Manning, Jordy Nelson should bounce back, and Marshawn Lynch will probably go full "Beast Mode" in a crucial matchup against the Cardinals. 

When watching Slightly Buzzed on Game day 

In the two week matchup for the Radio Girl, Slightly Buzzed dug themselves quite a hole. Down 101.48-67.78 to Those magic fingers, Slightly Buzzed is going to have to make a furious comeback to avoid the dreaded prize (this is what happens when you trust Mark Sanchez as your quarterback). No one can count out Those magic fingers when Odell Beckham Jr. is tearing up the league and Jimmy Graham could be coming out of hibernation at any time. 

There is a ton on the line this week, so who better than Bruce Buffer to set the stage...