It's Time

Yes, I finished True Detective 

Recently, I took on a second job of being the stat-keeper/scoreboard operator of Cedar Grove Suburban basketball. That's right, Cedar Grove, not even Verona. For those of you not familiar with Suburban, it's travel basketball teams, so it is fair to assume that these are the best kids the respective teams have to offer. The first game I worked was this past Thursday and the schedule said it was 7th grade girls basketball. 

First of all, there is no way these girls are in 7th grade, I think they were 5th graders maybe 6th at most. So naturally, I sat through an hour or so of terrible basketball. However, I'm not sure what was worse the level of basketball or the father's coaching. The "coaches" from Cedar Grove must've thought this was college basketball; they wore coordinated outfits and the assistant coach - aka Coach's Bitch - was keeping his own stats (on top of mine!). I'm not sure what coaches on both teams were expecting, but you were not going to get the Princeton Offense out of these girls. Girls at this age are not able to "anticipate" a pass on defense, they aren't going to drive to the basket, etc. The last thing these coaches are doing is coaching they are actually just "telling". It is definitely interesting to be secretly rooting against Cedar Grove while also keeping their stats; I assure you I am as impartial as possible.  

My next game is Tuesday and according to the schedule it is for this same team, I will be sure to report if they were able to recover from last week's shellacking. You may be asking what this has to do with Fantasy, and the answer is pretty much nothing. The only thing possible is that since my team did not make either of the playoffs, Sundays checking up on fantasy is like watching 5th grade girls basketball masquerading as 7th grade girls basketball. 

Anyway, our championship matchup is set! Seagrape Security vs. Gentle Vibrations, our highest scoring team going against the team with the most wins (with perhaps the quietest 11 game win streak in the history of sports). Gentle Vibrations had quite the scare this past and their team looks good to go this week. We are all expecting a bounce back game from Aaron Rodgers, Arian Foster should be leaned on more with Case Keenum back at QB 1, and several other players with good match-ups. As in most weeks, Seagrape Security was carried by the Dallas Cowboys; it will be interesting to see if their decision not to handcuff DeMarco Murray will come back to haunt them - though reports are indicating Murray will be playing. I am expecting a high scoring contest that should hopefully be decided during Monday Night's game. 

The third place matchup features Smooth Saddles and the defending champions LastCupChris. Both teams are cursing players that held them back this past weekend. Smooth Saddles are probably annoyed by Jamaal Charles's lack of touches and definitely frustrated by Jay Cutler's awful performance. LastCupChris is questioning how Chris Polk had two goal line touchdowns and how Darren Sproles had the team's other rushing touchdown. This is a repeat of a matchup of just two weeks ago and I think it is reasonable to expect another close outcome. Each team includes players that are in the middle of their own playoff hunts, so there is a lot to still play for. Tip of the cap to LastCupChris for being the only team in the league to make the playoffs in each of the three seasons. 

Currently in the consolation bracket, LOADING... is in the driver's seat. I believe that they have the most balanced team in the league, it just took them a week or two too long to get it all to come together. They have top players at all positions, kudos to them in constructing this roster. Yes, they are going up against Dickle Pickle, who have a tendency to rack up the points. However, they are going to need all hands on deck to take down LOADING... so they are hoping that Julio Jones will be able to suit up. 

The other consolation matchup involves AND I JUST WENT OFF and House Hodor. It has been a tough go at it for AND I JUST WENT OFF, having many players go ice cold after scorching hot starts. The implosion of Jay Cutler has to be crippling. Still, this is a team that features many teams' top options so they are always in danger of "going off." House Hodor had a strong week and are hoping to build off from that. One can never count out a team with Peyton Manning, Jordy Nelson should bounce back, and Marshawn Lynch will probably go full "Beast Mode" in a crucial matchup against the Cardinals. 

When watching Slightly Buzzed on Game day 

In the two week matchup for the Radio Girl, Slightly Buzzed dug themselves quite a hole. Down 101.48-67.78 to Those magic fingers, Slightly Buzzed is going to have to make a furious comeback to avoid the dreaded prize (this is what happens when you trust Mark Sanchez as your quarterback). No one can count out Those magic fingers when Odell Beckham Jr. is tearing up the league and Jimmy Graham could be coming out of hibernation at any time. 

There is a ton on the line this week, so who better than Bruce Buffer to set the stage...

We'll Do It Live

It has been awhile since the last post (I know I've been slacking). Hopefully, it's back and recharged. Well, we're almost at that time of year again: the Playoffs! Barring some pretty large miracles our playoff teams are set for both brackets--maybe not the seeding, but the teams are about 95% set. It is the point in the season, where teams cannot really do much with their rosters; yes, they can make wavier moves but those players are more insurance rather than difference makers. Teams are stuck with what they have, hopefully they constructed their rosters well enough to make a run at the Burgerson. With that being said, there is not much to discuss this week but next week should be more interesting with the playoffs beginning. 

Take a look at this...

 

I have always known that Tom Brady is a bitch...get it??

Some quick thoughts: 

- Smooth Saddles chose a helluva of a week to have their coming out party. In what was really a must win game for them, because of their lack of scoring this season, they had a mammoth day. Tre Mason, Brandon LaFell, and Kenny Stills led the way, if those guys keep it up Smooth Saddles could make a huge push for the Burgerson. Either way, I would not count them out because they are pretty much the Florida State of the league (always finding a way to win).  

- Clearly, Gentle Vibrations is looking to avenge their championship loss one year ago. They have what is most likely the quietest 9 game win streak in history. And they are not just winning, they are DOMINATING. Only one of those victories came by less than double digit points. Aaron Rodgers, Randall Cobb, Josh Gordon, Arian Foster, Mike Evans, C.J. Anderson...this is suddenly a very complete team. If a team wants a title, they will have to get through Gentle Vibrations. 

- Once again Roddy White has come to haunt LastCupChris. We are not saying that move was the difference, but playing someone else may have made the outcome more interesting. Regardless, they are the defending champs and that should not be taken lightly. This is a team that averages a ton of points and will not go down without a fight. Andrew Luck is a fantasy stud and Le'Veon Bell will probably be a Top 3 pick next season. 

- List of who I want to be the Jets starting quarterback next season: Marcus Mariota, Marcus Mariota, Marcus Mariota, Kirk Cousins/RG 3, Christian Ponder!, Mark Sanchez, Conor Cook...anyone but Jameis Winston 

- The second half of the season has been a bit of a bumpy ride for Seagrape Security, despite some struggles their playoff spot should be safe. This is a top heavy team and remarkably DeMarco Murray has been healthy for the whole season (JINX). Justin Forsett is probably the best pickup of the season, he came out of nowhere to be an RB 1, Antonio Brown is still a beast, and Dez Bryant is a great talent. The race for the Burgerson will be epic this season. 

- Despite having a player score 22 points and another scoring 35 points on their bench, LOADING... was still able to cruise to victory. Sadly, it might be a little too late for them. LOADING... could be a team with a winning record that is on the outside looking in for the Championship bracket. They are mathematically still alive, they need a win and to outscore a team ahead by a ton of points. If this team were to make the playoffs, they could be a force to be reckon with because they are peaking at the right time. 

- Who I think should coach the Jets next year: Jim Harbaugh, Art Briles, Mike Tomlin, Adam Gase, Kyle Shanahan

- We all know Rex Ryan will be winning a Super Bowl at his next job...Atlanta Falcons, Chicago Bears

- Better late then never for Slightly Buzzed winners of 3 of their last 4. They are hoping to salvage some pride by backing their way into the Consolation Bracket. Eddie Lacy has been the fantasy beast they expected when they used their first pick on him. Clearly, it has been throwing darts at quarterback for them. First Mark Sanchez and now Johnny Manziel?? Smh 

- Congrats to Those magic fingers on having the foresight to see that Odell Beckham Jr. is a great player. In a great year for rookie wide receivers, I believe that OBJ is the best of the lot. Just take a look again at the GIF above. 

- It has been a tough season for AND I JUST WENT OFF. It looked like they finally got into a rhythm of going off, but the production of Jeremy Maclin, Sammy Watkins, and Andre Ellington tailed off. As in real life, Jay Cutler is the lightning rod of this team. Still, I think this team has at least one more game of going off for them. 

- For the first time the playoffs will be without House Hodor. A brutal end of schedule really put the nail in their coffin. As usual they have been players on the wavier wire with making impressive moves such as the pickups of Ahmad Bradshaw, Dan Herron, Martavis Bryant, and even Cody Parkay. This team is better than their 6-7 record indicates, inconsistent play by the wide receiver position and the injury to Bradshaw really hurt their season.