It's Time

Yes, I finished True Detective 

Recently, I took on a second job of being the stat-keeper/scoreboard operator of Cedar Grove Suburban basketball. That's right, Cedar Grove, not even Verona. For those of you not familiar with Suburban, it's travel basketball teams, so it is fair to assume that these are the best kids the respective teams have to offer. The first game I worked was this past Thursday and the schedule said it was 7th grade girls basketball. 

First of all, there is no way these girls are in 7th grade, I think they were 5th graders maybe 6th at most. So naturally, I sat through an hour or so of terrible basketball. However, I'm not sure what was worse the level of basketball or the father's coaching. The "coaches" from Cedar Grove must've thought this was college basketball; they wore coordinated outfits and the assistant coach - aka Coach's Bitch - was keeping his own stats (on top of mine!). I'm not sure what coaches on both teams were expecting, but you were not going to get the Princeton Offense out of these girls. Girls at this age are not able to "anticipate" a pass on defense, they aren't going to drive to the basket, etc. The last thing these coaches are doing is coaching they are actually just "telling". It is definitely interesting to be secretly rooting against Cedar Grove while also keeping their stats; I assure you I am as impartial as possible.  

My next game is Tuesday and according to the schedule it is for this same team, I will be sure to report if they were able to recover from last week's shellacking. You may be asking what this has to do with Fantasy, and the answer is pretty much nothing. The only thing possible is that since my team did not make either of the playoffs, Sundays checking up on fantasy is like watching 5th grade girls basketball masquerading as 7th grade girls basketball. 

Anyway, our championship matchup is set! Seagrape Security vs. Gentle Vibrations, our highest scoring team going against the team with the most wins (with perhaps the quietest 11 game win streak in the history of sports). Gentle Vibrations had quite the scare this past and their team looks good to go this week. We are all expecting a bounce back game from Aaron Rodgers, Arian Foster should be leaned on more with Case Keenum back at QB 1, and several other players with good match-ups. As in most weeks, Seagrape Security was carried by the Dallas Cowboys; it will be interesting to see if their decision not to handcuff DeMarco Murray will come back to haunt them - though reports are indicating Murray will be playing. I am expecting a high scoring contest that should hopefully be decided during Monday Night's game. 

The third place matchup features Smooth Saddles and the defending champions LastCupChris. Both teams are cursing players that held them back this past weekend. Smooth Saddles are probably annoyed by Jamaal Charles's lack of touches and definitely frustrated by Jay Cutler's awful performance. LastCupChris is questioning how Chris Polk had two goal line touchdowns and how Darren Sproles had the team's other rushing touchdown. This is a repeat of a matchup of just two weeks ago and I think it is reasonable to expect another close outcome. Each team includes players that are in the middle of their own playoff hunts, so there is a lot to still play for. Tip of the cap to LastCupChris for being the only team in the league to make the playoffs in each of the three seasons. 

Currently in the consolation bracket, LOADING... is in the driver's seat. I believe that they have the most balanced team in the league, it just took them a week or two too long to get it all to come together. They have top players at all positions, kudos to them in constructing this roster. Yes, they are going up against Dickle Pickle, who have a tendency to rack up the points. However, they are going to need all hands on deck to take down LOADING... so they are hoping that Julio Jones will be able to suit up. 

The other consolation matchup involves AND I JUST WENT OFF and House Hodor. It has been a tough go at it for AND I JUST WENT OFF, having many players go ice cold after scorching hot starts. The implosion of Jay Cutler has to be crippling. Still, this is a team that features many teams' top options so they are always in danger of "going off." House Hodor had a strong week and are hoping to build off from that. One can never count out a team with Peyton Manning, Jordy Nelson should bounce back, and Marshawn Lynch will probably go full "Beast Mode" in a crucial matchup against the Cardinals. 

When watching Slightly Buzzed on Game day 

In the two week matchup for the Radio Girl, Slightly Buzzed dug themselves quite a hole. Down 101.48-67.78 to Those magic fingers, Slightly Buzzed is going to have to make a furious comeback to avoid the dreaded prize (this is what happens when you trust Mark Sanchez as your quarterback). No one can count out Those magic fingers when Odell Beckham Jr. is tearing up the league and Jimmy Graham could be coming out of hibernation at any time. 

There is a ton on the line this week, so who better than Bruce Buffer to set the stage...

We'll Do It Live

It has been awhile since the last post (I know I've been slacking). Hopefully, it's back and recharged. Well, we're almost at that time of year again: the Playoffs! Barring some pretty large miracles our playoff teams are set for both brackets--maybe not the seeding, but the teams are about 95% set. It is the point in the season, where teams cannot really do much with their rosters; yes, they can make wavier moves but those players are more insurance rather than difference makers. Teams are stuck with what they have, hopefully they constructed their rosters well enough to make a run at the Burgerson. With that being said, there is not much to discuss this week but next week should be more interesting with the playoffs beginning. 

Take a look at this...

 

I have always known that Tom Brady is a bitch...get it??

Some quick thoughts: 

- Smooth Saddles chose a helluva of a week to have their coming out party. In what was really a must win game for them, because of their lack of scoring this season, they had a mammoth day. Tre Mason, Brandon LaFell, and Kenny Stills led the way, if those guys keep it up Smooth Saddles could make a huge push for the Burgerson. Either way, I would not count them out because they are pretty much the Florida State of the league (always finding a way to win).  

- Clearly, Gentle Vibrations is looking to avenge their championship loss one year ago. They have what is most likely the quietest 9 game win streak in history. And they are not just winning, they are DOMINATING. Only one of those victories came by less than double digit points. Aaron Rodgers, Randall Cobb, Josh Gordon, Arian Foster, Mike Evans, C.J. Anderson...this is suddenly a very complete team. If a team wants a title, they will have to get through Gentle Vibrations. 

- Once again Roddy White has come to haunt LastCupChris. We are not saying that move was the difference, but playing someone else may have made the outcome more interesting. Regardless, they are the defending champs and that should not be taken lightly. This is a team that averages a ton of points and will not go down without a fight. Andrew Luck is a fantasy stud and Le'Veon Bell will probably be a Top 3 pick next season. 

- List of who I want to be the Jets starting quarterback next season: Marcus Mariota, Marcus Mariota, Marcus Mariota, Kirk Cousins/RG 3, Christian Ponder!, Mark Sanchez, Conor Cook...anyone but Jameis Winston 

- The second half of the season has been a bit of a bumpy ride for Seagrape Security, despite some struggles their playoff spot should be safe. This is a top heavy team and remarkably DeMarco Murray has been healthy for the whole season (JINX). Justin Forsett is probably the best pickup of the season, he came out of nowhere to be an RB 1, Antonio Brown is still a beast, and Dez Bryant is a great talent. The race for the Burgerson will be epic this season. 

- Despite having a player score 22 points and another scoring 35 points on their bench, LOADING... was still able to cruise to victory. Sadly, it might be a little too late for them. LOADING... could be a team with a winning record that is on the outside looking in for the Championship bracket. They are mathematically still alive, they need a win and to outscore a team ahead by a ton of points. If this team were to make the playoffs, they could be a force to be reckon with because they are peaking at the right time. 

- Who I think should coach the Jets next year: Jim Harbaugh, Art Briles, Mike Tomlin, Adam Gase, Kyle Shanahan

- We all know Rex Ryan will be winning a Super Bowl at his next job...Atlanta Falcons, Chicago Bears

- Better late then never for Slightly Buzzed winners of 3 of their last 4. They are hoping to salvage some pride by backing their way into the Consolation Bracket. Eddie Lacy has been the fantasy beast they expected when they used their first pick on him. Clearly, it has been throwing darts at quarterback for them. First Mark Sanchez and now Johnny Manziel?? Smh 

- Congrats to Those magic fingers on having the foresight to see that Odell Beckham Jr. is a great player. In a great year for rookie wide receivers, I believe that OBJ is the best of the lot. Just take a look again at the GIF above. 

- It has been a tough season for AND I JUST WENT OFF. It looked like they finally got into a rhythm of going off, but the production of Jeremy Maclin, Sammy Watkins, and Andre Ellington tailed off. As in real life, Jay Cutler is the lightning rod of this team. Still, I think this team has at least one more game of going off for them. 

- For the first time the playoffs will be without House Hodor. A brutal end of schedule really put the nail in their coffin. As usual they have been players on the wavier wire with making impressive moves such as the pickups of Ahmad Bradshaw, Dan Herron, Martavis Bryant, and even Cody Parkay. This team is better than their 6-7 record indicates, inconsistent play by the wide receiver position and the injury to Bradshaw really hurt their season.  

  

  

Nightmare Turned Miracle

Surprisingly, this is the post number 20. I don't know if that is a lot or a little, but I do know that 98.8 percent of these posts are fantasy football related. At some point during the third quarter last night, I was planning on writing a rant of epic proportions. This rant would have rivaled Pete's meltdown on the league. It was painful watching Cam Newton and the Carolina Panthers last night; for three and a half quarters I felt like I was being tortured at Guantanamo Bay (relax it's a joke). I only needed 10ish points to win, it was like Newton knew this and decided to play the worst game of his career. For some unknown, the Panthers kept letting their starters get battered and Slightly Buzzed was able to squeak away with the victory. They benefitted a lot from garbage time this week, Brandon Marshall was able to put up an impressive stat line despite being down a 100 points. 

Anyway I have been getting tired with the format of the recaps, it seems like I write the same thing every week. For this week I'm hoping to keep it short and share a few observations, some league related and others just in general. 

- House Hodor had a day for the record books. Marshawn Lynch and Peyton Manning combined to outscored the entire Loading... team. The 97.80 margin of victory was the largest margin of victory not just for the season but in the league's history. They could do no wrong Martavis Bryant and Terrance West also had huge games. Still, their 174.8 points is not the most scored in a single week. The most points in week was 182.12 back during FatGuyInALittleCoat's epic first season. 

- I want to go on record that I am genuinely rooting for Mark Sanchez to have great success, this was before he found his way onto Slightly Buzzed. I did not like the way his tenure with the Jets ended, even though his time was up I thought he deserved better. I hope the Jets organization watched last night's game and finally realized in order for a young quarterback to succeed he needs weapons. If they are gonna go quarterback in draft, then they also better build a solid offense around him. Side Note: I think it's Marcus Mariota or bust in the draft. I'm not sure if he's the answer, but if the Jets draft Jameis Winston than I might have to question my allegiance. 

- Quietly, Gentle Vibrations is on a six game winning streak. They took down the freight train that is AND I JUST WENT OFF. Their top heavy formula has been the answer for them this imagine, you have to wonder what this team would be like if Adrian Peterson played this season. If Josh Gordon plays like he did last year, this team will be a force during the stretch run. There's a solid base in place if that top three can stay healthy. 

- One of my favorite underrated players in the NFL is Christian Ponder. We all know he isn't great but he is definitely entertaining. Apparently, his first career pass was a 75 yard touchdown. I've spent about two years looking for the clip of his "non-intentional grounding", so far no dice. Ponder is being mentioned this week, because I read a story that when his wife, underrated hottie Samantha Ponder, got married they had their wedding dinner at Arby's. That is Jay Cutler swag right there. I also find the picture below hilarious: 

- Seagrape Security is currently on pace to break the league's most points scored in a season and weekly average. The record is famously held by 4th and God. This week the Seagrape will be bringing unveiling a new look team, with several key players on bye. This week may hurt their scoring average but they have enough depth to be competitive and make a run at a W. 

- The most surprising record may belong to Smooth Saddles. Their 6-4 mark is more impressive when considering that that their points for and against are near even. It will be interesting to see if they can this pace going. Working in their favor is that they have had the easiest strength of schedule so far and their remaining slate features teams they are 3-1 against. 

- I don't know if anyone has seen it, but the promo for the Spurs-Lakers game on Friday grinds my gears. The promo uses the opening music from Breaking Bad and makes stupid chemistry references. It probably just annoys me because it reminds me of the show and that it is a cheap analogy. 

In case you didn't click on the Samantha Ponder link...you're welcome. 

- No spoilers here, but I have to say that, so far, this season of The Walking Dead is the best so far. I'm mentioning it in this post, because the show airs on Sundays. I'm not sure what is different, but it has been dope. The pace is certainly better, they are always on the move. Learning more about the characters is an added bonus. Grantland has an interesting article with reasons for the show's improvement. 

-Lastly, I have brought this up before but Fairfield is playing Loyola at the Barclays Center on December 28. I really want to go! I hope you guys have an interest in going too. It sounds far away, but it will be here before you know it. Tickets are not that expensive and Fairfield even has their own ticket package. Please let me know what you think!

What the hell is this??

Election Day

If this doesn't encourage you to vote, I don't know what will

We're coming at you with a special Election Day post! The Double Ent-Andres take pride in the democratic virtues that it embodies. For nearly all of our league going-ons we hold votes or the occasional case race to decide how things should work. Not once has the charming commissioner had to pull rank in the three years of the league. These factors have made for a competitive league that we all enjoy and are fully invested in, regardless of standing. 

Enough with the boring stuff...this week I want to focus on the X-Factors. Each team has their own particular x-factors, these can be a particular player, position, etc. The x-factors are going to be a major part in determining on what each team will do for the rest of the way. Many teams were affected by these players in their Week 9 matchups. But first let's check out this crazy touchdown for the 100th time from Anthony Fasano, Verona's finest...

   

Do we think Jay Mohr or Fasano is the most famous person to come out of the great town of Verona, NJ?! Place your votes now! To his credit, Fasano returns to Verona every year for his annual Bocce Tournament.

Anyway, back to the X-Factors. Where better to start than with our first place team, Seagrape Security? They just pulled off the most impressive win of the season and maybe one of the top five all time in our league's history. They should be going out and buying Adam Vinatieri a Christmas present. Their win was huge because it prevented their fourth straight lost and sprung them back into first place. It seems that their x-factor is none other than Tony Romo and that was even before they picked him up. Romo's presence impacts the performance of DeMarco Murray and Dez Bryant; if he is not on the field their numbers are negatively impacted. This problem was evident this past week when Seagrape Security had their lowest point total of the season. Romo's health will have a major impact on a team that many believe will make a deep run for the Burgerson title.

LastCupChris has been solid over the past few weeks, Andrew Luck has been an absolute fantasy monster. He has been so impressive that they were hardly impacted by Ben Rapistlisberger's amazing numbers sitting on their bench. Still, the biggest factor going forward has to be their WR 2 and 3 positions. Emmanuel Sanders has clearly set himself as the number one option, but it is difficult choosing between Roddy White, Reggie Wayne, and Marques Colston. All players are solid, but for the most part have a low ceiling; you know it's tough when Yahoo describes Colston as a "Reggie Wayne-esque WR 3." So the problem is figuring out who to play and sit each week, because it can be easy to leave a big performer on the bench. The emergence of Mark Ingram looks like it could be putting less pressure on this position, he should pick up some slack in the FLEX position.

Arian Foster is for sure the x-factor on Gentle Vibrations. The last few weeks Foster has been an absolute monster that has helped propel Gentle Vibrations into third place after a 2-3 start. Currently, Foster is injured but hopefully the Bye Week will help in the recovery. With Foster out, it leaves them starting someone named Boobie Dixon at running back. One cannot rely on Boobies in fantasy football. Yes, they have Alfred Blue in the wings but he cannot match the production of Foster. Something that we all should keep note of is that Adrain Peterson is back on the Gentle Vibrations' roster. If Peterson were cleared to be play that could soften the blow of a missing Foster. The stashed players on their roster is a close second for x-factors, Josh Gordon is patiently waiting as well.

Like LastCupChris, Smooth Saddles have issues at wide receivers. However, things maybe turning the corner for them. The return of Robert Griffin III should in theory help the production of Pierre Garcon and everyone is talking big game about Brandon LaFell. If those two guys make the leap they can pair nicely with Julian Edelman; still tricky starting two receivers from the same team but Tom Brady has been sharing the wealth. Difficult week with all three of them on bye, still they have solid replacements filling the gaps for them this week.

We all need to recognize that Bishop Sankey is going nowhere this year. I'm sure House Hodor has acknowledged this and has made adjustments. Hodor, at the moment has a solid team and is quietly sitting in fifth place. Their player to make this list is a toss up between Percy Harvin and Keenan Allen. One of these players needs to step up to fill the WR 2 void, particularly when Martavis Bryant comes back to Earth. My money is on Harvin being the more likely one to take the step up; Harvin was the best player on the field in his game on Sunday. I have a feeling that the Michael Vick and the Jets will make a conscious effort to feed him the ball. He should have bigger games when guys stop doing this to him...

  

There hardly seems to be any holes on AND I JUST WENT OFF. The most likely candidate for the list is Jay Cutler. Cutler may not be playing great in real life, but has been solid in fantasy. The Bears have been in crisis the last few weeks and hopefully they were able to right the ship. If Cutler becomes a shell of himself this could certainly impact AND I JUST WENT OFF negatively. As we head later into the season it becomes more difficult to replace quarterbacks, especially with most teams rostering at least two quarterbacks. Either way it appears that they have enough depth at other positions to keep the team afloat in case Cutler were to struggle.

Week 10 is where the league sees a retooled LOADING... I wonder if we have reached the point where they are no longer "loading"? The biggest difference maker down the stretch looks like it will be Calvin Johnson, who has hardly played this season. If Johnson comes back healthy this could make LOADING... downright frightening. Brady, Johnson, Jeffery, Gronkowski, Miller, etc that is a team that can compete with anyone. This is a tough week for byes for them, but they have constructed a roster where they have depth to replace their heavy hitters.

Surprisingly, Julius Thomas may in fact be the x-factor for Dickle Pickle. Thomas, quietly, has been putting up less than stellar numbers. They need him to get back on track to pick up the slack of a few of their receivers and their RB 2. Thomas combined with Drew Brees and Matt Forte should keep Dickle Pickle in contention deep into the season.

What was thought as their strongest position has suddenly become a big question mark for Those magic fingers. Phillip Rivers was awful this past Sunday and if Russell Wilson is not running, his numbers take a hit. Thankfully Rivers has a bye to get his head back on straight. My guess is that Wilson will go back to himself and have solid numbers. Jimmy Graham appears to be himself again and Odell Beckham Jr looks like an absolute stud.

Finally, Slightly Buzzed has many factors impacting them. Health is probably the biggest factor going forward. The return of Rashard Jennings, Fred Jackson, and AJ Green's continued health could make for a huge difference. If those guys come back healthy and they can figure out the quarterback situation then they might be able to spoil a few seasons down the stretch. 

Shake it Off

No Taylor, I will not "shake it off"

Not sure if there is much of anecdote for this week. It was definitely one of the more exciting weeks in the league this season; the games, for the most part, were close going into the primetime games and it was more personal with a majority of us together to watch the games. We have officially reached the halfway point of the season and in the words of Matthew Berry "it's time to take a look in the mirror." Teams need to be honest with themselves and decide whether they have a chance at the playoffs or if they are more in survive and advance mode. Most teams still have a shot at the playoffs (FYI it's back to a 4 team playoff), therefore need to look at the mirror and decide what they need to do going forward. Some are probably comfortable with what they have and others need to tweak somethings to make a playoff push.  

A team that may need to take a quick look in the mirror is Seagrape Security, it wouldn't be a long look in the mirror. They have been able to score points at a huge clip, but it has not translated into wins recently. Currently on a three game skid their opponents have averaged somewhere around 150 points. Just terrible luck. Seagrape Security may want to evaluate their quarterback position, asking the question "Can Nick Foles take us to the promise land?" There are currently two teams in the league with three QBs so maybe that's where they will look. They certainly have the depth to consider this move. 

After eight weeks, Smooth Saddles, are surprisingly in first place. They have had their share of close games, yet they continue to find a way to win. They have taken the idea of streaming to the next level. Week 8 and Week 9 it appears they are finding a QB with a favorable matchup and plugging them in as a starter. Perhaps this is the formula they may want to consider going forward, Matt Stafford and Matt Ryan don't scream reliability. Smooth Saddles probably have their fingers crossed the Brandon LaFell lives up to the hype and that RG III turns Pierre Garcon's season around. 

Probably the most surprising team at the halfway mark is AND I JUST WENT OFF. Practically overnight they not only have become a contender for a playoff spot, but also for the Burgerson trophy. The team is loaded with talent, they have four receivers who are the number one option for their respective teams. All of AND I JUST WENT OFF's starters are starters on their own team. They certainly have a target on their back with Yahoo projecting them to win out the rest of the season. The team could potentially improve at RB 2 if Ryan Matthews ever comes back from injury. 

Keeping pace with their previous championship season LastCupChris has been impressive so far. Despite the disappointment of LeSean McCoy's season, they currently sit at third place. Andrew Luck and Le'Veon Bell have been keeping the pace for them. Mark Ingram appears to be a revelation and Emmanuel Sanders has put in himself in the high-end WR2/low-end WR 1 conversation. Overall they are equipped with a solid team, however they may want to consider an upgrade at the other receiver positions; Roddy White, Reggie Wayne, and Marques Colston do not provide the most confidence.   

Also impressive has been Gentle Vibrations, three weeks ago their season was on the brink at 2-3 but they have managed three wins in a row. They have been led by the three-headed monster that is: "The Bad Man Himself" Aaron Rodgers (as Stephen A. Smith notes), Arian Foster, and Randall Cobb. Unfortunately, the Packers are on a bye this week so they will need to make adjustments. They have done well on the wavier wire with pickups like Ronnie Hillman, who appears to have taken over the lead back role in Denver. Gentle Vibrations has also stashed Josh Gordon, so if they can hang around for the next few weeks they maybe able to make a late push for the playoffs. 

The team that might benefit the most from a trade is Dickle Pickle. They are hurting at the RB 2 position since CJ Spiller went, who wasn't doing that much to begin with. This is a team that can score points but they need more help at that position. Dickle Pickle have depth at receiver so they arguably could use it to make a deal for a running back. They sure hope the recent disappointing performances of Julius Thomas and Julio Jones were just flukes. 

House Hodor find themselves in a difficult position: they have talented players, but they have not lived up to their potential. For example, Marshawn Lynch has quietly been putting up average numbers in recent weeks. Peyton Manning, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Jordy Nelson continue to put up solid stats. DeSean Jackson is always a threat for a big play and has woken up over the last few games. House Hodor is looking for the change of scenery to boost Percy Harvin's performance. There's always a chance that Keenan Allen awakens from his slumber and they have players like Justin "Big Game" Hunter and Martavis Bryant who could become fantasy factors the rest of the season. 

A team that always sees themselves as one move away is LOADING...They have constructed themselves a solid team through a series of crafty moves whether on the trade block or the wavier wire. The argument can be made that they have the most depth in the league. They probably had a minor scare when it was misreported that Doug Martin was traded to the Dolphins, because it would've hurt Lamar Miller's value. I'm sure if they were asked, they would say that they are one or two players away from making a serious run at the league title. Teams looking to improve may want to contact LOADING... first. 

Those magic fingers are in a tough position. Their first order of business is to improve their depth, because they still have a shot at the playoffs. Perhaps they can package one of their elite quarterbacks for some depth and the relieve themselves of the burden of picking between the two week after week. Their best case scenario is that Alfred Morris turned the corner after a solid performance on Monday, that Jimmy Graham plays like Jimmy Graham, and that Brandon Marshall becomes an elite receiver after the bye. If those three come alive, they fill out the roster, and their quarterback plays at a high level then this team can make some noise. 

Without further ado...

Take a look at the Twitter handle in the right hand corner

With the season from hell Slightly Buzzed is trying to turn over every stone to find answers. Their season ended on draft night when Kopko looked at their roster and said "that's a pretty solid lineup." Slightly Buzzed is heading to be given this award at the end of the season:

Just change Raiders to Slightly Buzzed

Blast From the Past

Less Talk More Head would happily let Tyreese play RB. 

Is it me or does it feel like it's the first year of the league again? No? Then I guess it's just me. Let me tell you, I'm getting sick and tired of it. Slightly Buzzed is trapped in the cellar at 1-5 and it starting to look a lot like the Gore-Gasm days. In 4 0f the 5 losses, their opponent has not only beaten their season average but also have had their highest point total of the season. How is this even possible?! I can understand for a season, maybe you can talk me into two but three is ridiculous. Right now Slightly Buzzed is staring down the barrel of its third consecutive season having the MOST points against. 

Despite luck being the biggest factor of them all, there are a few other facts for the struggles of Slightly Buzzed. They have dealt with an inordinate amount of injuries this season (Rashard Jennings and A.J. Green went down in the same week) and this past week was the first game all season where a player did not leave mid-game because of an injury. Even with their health "intact" this past week they still weren't able to pull out the W because of the disappointing performances of Matt Ryan and Eddie Lacy. Lacy leads us to our next point, this team has not been able to draft particularly well, especially with their first pick. Chris Johnson, Doug Martin, and Lacy is a sad list of names to read. Maybe the Oakland Raiders are the only other team to draft worse in the first round. You could argue that there is still time for Lacy, but the Packers need to give him opportunities and have the patience to establish the run. We all saw two Thursdays ago when Lacy looked like Tryeese taking done walkers with his bare hands in the Season 5 premiere.    

Apologizes for the rant, probably did not help that I received this alert as I started writing this post: 

On the bright side I did get a "new" phone.

Enough with the disappointments, let's discuss some other happenings in the league. In a stunner, Dickle Pickle playing David took down the Goliath that is (was?) Seagrape Security. It should be noted that it took a whopping 151 points to accomplish this upset, because Seagrape Security averages 120 points. Averages! It was still a fairly close contest, so it will be interesting to see how they rebound this week coming off a defeat. They will be without Nick Foles, it will be a difficult decision to decide who is gonna be the one to lead their troops into battle. Dickle Pickle was able to accomplish their win without Drew Brees, their regular starting defense, and Steven Ridley exiting the game early with a season ending injury. Kudos to them for gambling on Ryan Tannehill and the Philadelphia Eagles defense. Their reward this week is a matchup with the desperate Less Talk More Head, who will be sure to throw everything at them including the kitchen sink.

In another "minor" upset LastCupChris suffered their second loss in two games. To make matters worse their opponent had a solid game from Lamar Miller who LastCupChris traded for Victor Cruz, which unfortunately did not turn out so well for them. They are also on the record as saying they are "still butthurt trading and losing to (LOADING...)." LastCupChris is in need of magic this week with LeSean McCoy on a bye and Montee Ball and Cruz sidelined by injuries. However, they still have heavy hitters in Andrew Luck, the Cardinals defense, Dan Bailey (the most accurate kicker in history??) and Le'Veon Bell. LOADING... arguably had their best showing of the season and perhaps they found a turning point with Colin Kaepernick. They are stockpiled with talent and perhaps their biggest struggle week to week is deciding who to start--that is unless they are making a trade. They appear to be clicking at the right time with the emergence of Brandon Oliver, Miller's new status, and Kaepernick looking like his old self. Their matchup this week leads us to their next team...

Smooth Saddles have suffered their second loss in a row and there was not much that could be done with several players going missing for them. Their box score has been nearly identical the last two weeks, including the points against. They should be bolstered by the return of Jamaal Charles and the favorable matchups of Julian Edelman and their defense. The keys to the bus have been given back to Matt Stafford who is an excellent candidate for a bounce back against the porous Saints defense. It would seem unlikely for them to continue averaging around 75 points. Smooth Saddles' opponent this past week, Those magic fingers, have been having a seesaw season. They have been trading between losses and wins every week so far, if that pattern is to continue this week it does not look so good for Those magic fingers. Still they have cleaned shop on their bench and most of their players have good projections for this weekend. The addition of Odell Beckham Jr. could benefit them sooner than later, OBJ looks to improve with the loss of Cruz and Larry Donnell coming back to Earth. 

Gentle Vibrations, the opponent for Those magic fingers this week, had a great week scoring their highest point total of the season. They will always be a factor with the 1-2 punch of Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb. Their running back situation is not the most stable, though it looks like Khiry Robinson will get some more work with Mark Ingram slow to return. They had a winning formula last year with Matt Prater and the Seahawks defense and they are looking to strike rich again with their acquisition of Prater. Arian Foster looks to be back to his old self and Jordan Cameron proved he wasn't a walker on the field last week. With the three headed monster of Rodgers, Cobb, and Foster maybe the vibrations of Gentle Vibrations won't be so gentle. 

One club back to their winning ways has been House Hodor. Despite Percy Harvin drawing negative points they were able to pull out a much needed victory. Jordy Nelson is probably one of the most consistent players in fantasy and DeSean Jackson is always one play away from having a huge fantasy day. House Hodor currently has the steal of the wavier wire in Ahmad Bradshaw, who has turned into a solid RB 2; imagine if the Colts stopped given equal work to Trent Richardson, however some people like to watch the world burn. 

AND I JUST WENT OFF thought they turned the corner with their first victory, the returns of D-Mart Thomas and Andre Ellington, plus the near returns of Knowshon Moreno and Ryan Matthews. Those plans were dealt a devastating blow when Moreno was placed on IR after tearing his ACL and Matthews's return looks to be in another week or two. On the bright side, Shane Vereen looks to be in line for a bigger role and Jay Cutler will always be slinging the ball around. AND I JUST WENT OFF should be going off at least a few more times this season. 

For some this has been a frustrating season, for those some there is the new season of The Walking Dead to fall back on...too bad it's only on one day a week. 

Quest for the Jersey

Only a matter of time before the blog mentioned the legendary Pennington.

Back in the day I had a Chad Pennington jersey. Remember it distinctly: a white jersey and the one from the "10" was fading because of so much wear. Not really sure why it fell out of rotation, but it was probably because he was released during the doomed Brett Favre experiment and that I eventually was able to get what I thought was a steal on a Revis jersey (definitely not the case). Anyway for the past week or so I've been on a quest to find this jersey and I CANNOT find it...anywhere. It has to be in the attic somewhere; so far I have found some of the most random jerseys: a youth Curtis Martin, Donavon McNabb (my brother's), a baby blue Eddie George, and a vintage Michael Vick "Dirty Birds" jersey (also my brothers). Some how I find those but I cannot find the one that I actually want--though with the current state of the Jets, maybe Vick has to be my default. 

With the Jets current state of affairs, Pennington may in fact be their best answer at quarterback...remember he is the most accurate passer in the NFL. Hell, I would even take Tebow back to lead this team, at least he has God on his side. You're all probably asking: "What does this have to do with the league??" and the answer is most likely nothing. It gives me an excuse to mention my favorite player but we can also compare Slightly Buzzed to the real life Jets, both stuck at 1-4 and no end in sight. It is a crisis now for Slightly Buzzed, it seemed that their running back situation stabilized with a big Eddie Lacy game, but then fell apart with Rashard Jennings's MCL. FYI for the other teams out there: Slightly Buzzed will listen to any and all trade talks, as long as they're reasonable. 

Overall it was a disappointing Week 5, our closest matchups were decided by 21 points. However, it was a coming out week for AND I JUST WENT OFF because they literally "just went off." They have hitched their stable to Jay Cutler, who despite the turnovers, is putting up solid fantasy numbers. With Knowshon Moreno supposedly coming back this week and Demaryius Thomas and Andre Ellington having huge games; maybe AND I JUST WENT OFF is looking at a turnaround. It should be noted that the teams sitting at 1-4 are technically only a game out of a playoff spot. 

Seagrape Security has continued their torrid with seemingly no end in sight. This team is stacked, they go three deep at most positions. If things stay the same, then their most threatening week is Week 11 with their bell cow DeMarco Murray on a bye along with teammate Dez Bryant. Their weakest spot appears to be quarterback, but we all know Nick Foles will put it in the air so he'll always have a chance for stats. 

Smooth Saddles suffered their first loss of the season. It was almost like their players decided to take the week, not a single position player scored a touchdown. Matt Stafford had a dismal game and their leading scoring was their defense which is always intriguing. Gentle Vibrations was the team to hand them the defeat and also on their third name change (granted this one goes more with a league theme). It wasn't a stunning performance but it got the job done. They also picked up some of the top wavier targets in the week in Andre Williams and Ronnie Hillman. We'll have to see what kind of impact these pickups can do going forward. 

A team that just had terrible luck this past week was House Hodor. Pretty much if they played anyone from their bench they could of had a better chance to win and they also lost around 25 points from three called back touchdowns from Percy Harvin. In the midst of a three game losing streak, House Hodor will look to get back on track. Perhaps this is the week that Bishop Sankey has his breakout week against the Jaguars. Dickle Pickle pulled off the impressive win this past week, however they have been bit by the Bye Week bug for Week 6. We will all be intrigued by what sort of adjustments they'll make to counteract that. You can never count out a team that has Matt Forte, Julius Thomas, and Julio Jones even if they are without Drew Brees. 

LastCupChris are back to their winning ways, though they have to be disappointed with their point total. They are of course without Montee Ball, who has been a flop anyway. They certainly have a team filled with talent, their most difficult problem will be deciding to play each week. There are definitely players who can have busts weeks every once in awhile on that roster (e.g. Marques Colston and Victor Cruz). They have an interesting matchup against LOADING... this week. LOADING... were hit with a loss last week but this is a team also filled with talent. Maybe the most interesting aspect of this team is waiting to see what their final roster is week to week; this is a team that is never content and always willing to make a deal. They certainly have "pieces" to pull off another deal before Sunday. They live by the credo of: "If you're not trading, you're not trying."

There's a quarterback controversy brewing with Those magic fingers. They arguably have two top 5 quarterbacks in Phillip Rivers and Russell Wilson, which creates a tough decision every week. Perhaps their biggest problem is that their other players are not showing up. Of course Brandon Marshall will return to relevance and Jimmy Graham is Jimmy Graham. What they really need is for Alfred Morris and Torrey Smith to have their stats get closer to the mean. If that happens this could suddenly be a dangerous team down the stretch. 

Week 6 is shaping up to be moving week for a lot teams. It will be interesting to see what teams will end up hitting the panic button. Also I've looked up prices for Pennington jerseys online...they are astronomically high. 

Of course this is a player on Slightly Buzzed.